“Becoming
Goodly Parents”
Conference
Talk by
L.
Tom Perry
October,
2010 General Conference
Lesson
by Michelle
Michelle began her lesson by
quoting from Elder L. Tom Perry, “My parents are the defining
example I retain of goodly parents who placed their marriage and the proper
rearing of children as their highest priority.”
Is this a quote that your children might say about you one day?
Elder Perry also
said, “Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred
and important responsibility. While other institutions such as church and
school can assist parents to “train up a child in the way he [or she] should
go” (Proverbs 22:6), this responsibility ultimately rests on the parents.”
Where can goodly parents be found
in the scriptures? The first response
was that of Lehi and Sariah in 1Nephi. How
were they goodly parents? They did not
have a perfect family. They showed love
to all their children. Lehi and Sariah
had to make difficult decisions for their family. They had to endure complaining and
murmuring. They had to show a lot of
faith in the Lord, especially in chapter 5 when Lehi sent his sons back to
Jersusalem for the plates of Laban. Lehi
and Sariah had to raise difficult sons like Laman and Lemuel as well as
righteous sons like Nephi and Sam.
It was mentioned that Joseph
Smith’s parents were also goodly parents.
They accepted him and the events that happened that led to the restoration
of the Gospel.
Before your first child is born,
how do you become goodly parents?
Melanie said that in the marriage
class they say this quote: “Nobody is
ready for marriage, marriage makes you ready for marriage.” The same can be said for being a parent. Being a parent is a process and no one
arrives at parenthood knowing how to be a parent and no one is perfect.
It is important to follow the
examples of other goodly parents and to seek the Lord’s help to be the best
parent you can be. Teamwork also plays
an important part in parenting. Genesis
2:24 states: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Teamwork between spouses but also with
teachers, friends, ward members, etc.
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
Elder Perry suggest there are five
things parents can do to become “goodly parents” and create stronger families:
“First, parents can pray in
earnest, asking our Eternal Father to help them love, understand, and guide the
children He has sent to them.”
We need to trust and rely on the
Lord. It is a peaceful, comforting
thought to know we are not doing this alone.
Michelle relayed an incident when
she overheard her in-laws having their couples nightly prayer. It was comforting to know that they cared and
wanted the best for them. It was also a
great example to show children the spiritual bond married couples have with the
Lord.
Each child is different. We need to love and discipline each child differently,
yet have unconditional love for each.
“Second, they can hold family
prayer, scripture study, and family home evenings and eat together as often as
possible, making dinner a time of communication and the teaching of values.”
Various sisters in the audience
told about their family’s routines regarding family home evenings, scripture
study, family prayer, etc. Many said
that while they may not have a formal family home evening on Monday night, it
was important to have regular family time.
One said that they try to have family time on a Sunday afternoon when
their schedules allow them all to be together.
Someone else said that they take the opportunity whenever their children
are receptive to talking about a gospel principle, whether that would be after
school in the afternoon, or during dinner.
Families have different dynamics and schedules so it is important to
take advantage of what works for your family and be consistent. Often it is easier to divide responsibilities
instead of all duties for family prayer, family home evening falling to one
person to execute. It is important to
have peace and the Spirit in our homes more than it is to have contention over
when family home evening is going to happen or who is going to give it.
It was also mentioned that we want
to be the ones to teach our children correct principles. We need to share our testimonies with our
children and to be a good example to them.
“Third, parents can fully avail
themselves of the Church’s support network, communicating with their children’s
Primary teachers, youth leaders, and class and quorum presidencies. By
communicating with those who are called and set apart to work with their
children, parents can provide essential understanding of a child’s special and
specific needs.”
Fourth, parents can share their
testimonies often with their children, commit them to keep the commandments of
God, and promise the blessings that our Heavenly Father promises His faithful
children.”
“Fifth, we can organize our
families based on clear, simple family rules and expectations, wholesome family
traditions and rituals, and “family economics,” where children have household
responsibilities and can earn allowances so that they can learn to budget,
save, and pay tithing on the money they earn.”
Michelle read a quote from
President Joseph Fielding Smith as given in L. Tom Perry’s talk:
“It is the duty of parents to
teach their children these saving principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so
that they will know why they are to be baptized and that they may be impressed
in their hearts with a desire to continue to keep the commandments of God after
they are baptized, that they may come back into his presence. Do you, my good
brethren and sisters, want your families, your children; do you want to be
sealed to your fathers and your mothers before you …? If so, then you must
begin by teaching at the cradle-side. You are to teach by example as well as
precept.”
Michelle closed by saying, “We are
partnering with heaven to raise our children and it’s our sacred duty to do our
best.”
