“Of
Regrets and Resolutions”
President
Dieter F. Uchtdorf
October,
2012 General Conference
Saturday
Morning Session
Lesson
by Anne
Anne
began her lesson by telling an incident that President Uchtdorf relayed in his
talk: “A nurse who cares for the
terminally ill says that she has often asked a simple question of her patients
as they prepared to depart this life.
“Do you have any regrets?” she would ask.”
The
most common regrets were outlined by President Uchtdorf. They are:
- I wish I had spent more time
with the people I love.
- I wish I had lived up to my
potential.
- I wish I had let myself be
happier.
1-I
wish I had spent more time with the people I love.
Although
this sentiment is often expressed by men who get caught up with the demands of
work, it is also true of women in all walks of life.
President
Uchtdorf said, “Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we
even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself,
was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life.
Is
it?
I
think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the
people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between
meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.
I
can’t see it.
Instead
I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day.
When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He
knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to
them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His
time.”
Anne
repeated, “He knew the infinite value of the people He met.” “He game them the precious gift of His time.”
The
best thing we can give someone is our time.
President Uchtdorf said, “If we fail to give our best
personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one
day we will regret it.”
2-I wish I had lived up to my potential.
President Uchtdorf was not speaking of climbing the ladder
of success in our various professions but of failing to become the person that
we feel we could and should be.
He said, “Rather, I am speaking of becoming the person God,
our Heavenly Father, intended us to be.” “Our Heavenly Father sees our real
potential. He knows things about us that we do not know ourselves. He prompts
us during our lifetime to fulfill the measure of our creation, to live a good
life, and to return to His presence.”
We need to focus on those things we need to be doing so we
may return to our Heavenly Father some day.
We should be developing our talents so they we can help and be positive
influences to others around us. We
should follow the Savior’s example and incorporating His teachings into our
daily lives.
President
Uchtdorf said, “Declaring our testimony of the gospel is good, but being a
living example of the restored gospel is better. Wishing to be more faithful to
our covenants is good; actually being faithful to sacred covenants—including
living a virtuous life, paying our tithes and offerings, keeping the Word of
Wisdom, and serving those in need—is much better. Announcing that we will
dedicate more time for family prayer, scripture study, and wholesome family
activities is good; but actually doing all these things steadily will bring
heavenly blessings to our lives.
Discipleship
is the pursuit of holiness and happiness. It is the path to our best and
happiest self.”
Anne
re-told a story she had told in her Sacrament meeting talk several weeks ago
about a woman who was asked to help clean in the temple. She couldn’t figure out why, since the temple
looked spotless. She realized that this
job was more for her benefit than anything else. Many times, we just float along doing the
daily, routine chores in our lives, but many of the vital parts are
missing. We need to be doers.
“Let
us listen to and obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit. As we do so, Heavenly
Father will reveal to us things we never knew about ourselves. He will
illuminate the path ahead and open our eyes to see our unknown and perhaps
unimagined talents.” said Dieter Uchtdorf.
Anne
asked if anyone had talents revealed to them.
Sue
said that she received her patriarchical blessing as a teenager and it said she
would do genealogy. Little did she
realize then how involved she has been doing her family history as well as
helping many others do theirs.
Anne
told about a sister in a previous ward she lived in who although she had
children of her own, felt uncomfortable around other children. She was called to be the Primary president
and found she had a talent to calm the children, and make them feel wanted and
loved.
Melanie told about visiting Walden Pond last week and how
the following quote by Henry David Thoreau touched her, “I
went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the
essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and
not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
3-I wish I had let myself be happier.
President
Uchtdorf in his talk said, “So often we get caught up in the illusion that
there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a
better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a
challenging trial.
The
older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances
don’t really matter or determine our happiness.
We
do matter. We determine our happiness.
You
and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness.”
Anne
mentioned that she often has to teach this to her children. She tells them that they are in control of
their feelings and their behaviors.
Again,
Anne quoted from President Uchtdorf’s talk, “We shouldn’t wait to be happy
until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already
available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect.
“This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote.
“Rejoice and be glad in it.”
Anne
paraphrased Brother Uchtdorf’s story about how he and his wife enjoy riding
their bikes. Sometimes, they become
competitive and seeing how fast they can go.
His wife tells him, “It’s not a race; it’s a journey. Enjoy the moment.”
“Sometimes
in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the
journey. I don’t go cycling with my wife because I’m excited about finishing. I
go because the experience of being with her is sweet and enjoyable.
Doesn’t
it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly
anticipating the moment when they will end?
Do
we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow
ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of
melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition.
Do
we say our prayers with only the “amen” or the end in mind? Of course not. We
pray to be close to our Heavenly Father, to receive His Spirit and feel His
love.”
Anne
drew a diagram on the board:
Past
Present Future
Me
She
said that if one lives in the past, one might have feelings of anger,
depression, sadness and regret. That
person is off balance.
She
then said that if one lives in the future, one could have feelings of anxiety
and fear. This person, too, is off
balance.
But
if a person lives in the present, they should have feelings of clarity and
happiness. This person should be in
balance.
Anne
showed us a painting by Cassandra Barney titled “Be Where My Feet Are”. Anne loves this painting because it is rich
and colorful but also because it shows a woman who is in touch with where she
is, not in the background where other things are happening.
Anne
said that regret can weigh us down and keep us from progressing. She asked if there is any good that can come
from regret? Some responses were:
-It
can lead to repentance.
-It
can lead to gratefulness.
-It
can be a teachable moment.
-It
can help us and others learn from our/their mistakes.
Anne
quoted Barbara Rubel who is a stress management consultant. She said that everyone has regrets but it is
important to manage regrets so they are in proper perspective.
President Uchtdorf also spoke of resolutions in his talk:
“To avoid some of the deepest regrets of
life, it would be wise to make some resolutions today. Therefore, let us:
Resolve to spend more time with those we love.
Resolve to strive more earnestly to become the
person God wants us to be.
Resolve to find happiness, regardless of our
circumstances.
Anne closed her lesson by bearing her testimony of the Gospel and that with
the help of the Atonement, we can heal any regrets, be forgiven and move
forward.
