Lesson Recap
Lesson by Kim
“Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness”
By Elder Larry Y. Wilson
Quorum of the Seventy
April, 2012 General Conference, Sunday Afternoon Session
Click to listen to the RS Broadcast September 29, 2012
RS Broadcast - Henry B. Eyring's talk
RS Broadcast Linda S. Reeves Talk
RS Broadcast - Carol M. Stephen's Talk
RS Broadcast - Linda K. Burton, General RS President
Announcements:
RS Broadcast - Henry B. Eyring's talk
RS Broadcast Linda S. Reeves Talk
RS Broadcast - Carol M. Stephen's Talk
RS Broadcast - Linda K. Burton, General RS President
Announcements:
- General Conference is next weekend: October 6-7.
- Wear pink on October 14 - Special request from Andrea for her lesson
- Wednesday, October 10, 7:00 p.m., Relief Society Weekday Activity: Service project and tech corner.
Lesson:
Kim began her lesson by reading
the opening story from Elder Wilson’s talk:
“A month or so after we were
married, my wife and I were taking a long road trip in the car. She was driving, and I was trying to
relax. I say trying because the highway
we were traveling had a reputation for speed traps, and my wife might have had
a slight tendency toward a lead foot in those days. I said, “You’re going too fast. Slow down.”
“My new bride thought to herself,
“Well, I’ve been driving for nearly 10 years, and other than my driver’s
education teacher, no one ever told me how to drive before.” So she replied, “What gives you the right to
tell me how to drive?”
“Frankly, hew question caught me
off guard. So, doing my best to step up to my new responsibilities as a married
man, I said, “I don’t know—because I’m your husband and I hold the priesthood.”
“Brethren, just a quick tip: if you are ever in a similar situation, that
is not the right response. And I’m happy
to report it was the one and only time I ever made that mistake.”
Kim asked, “What is “unrighteous
dominion”?
Several responses were:
Overstepping your bounds of authority.
Directing others with the wrong
attitude.
Advancing your own agenda.
Elder Wilson states the following
from his talk:
“The Doctrine and Covenants
explains that the right to use the priesthood in the home or elsewhere is
directly connected with righteousness in our lives: “The powers of heaven cannot be controlled
not handled only upon the principles of righteousness.” It goes on to say that we love that power
when we “exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of (others),
in any degree of unrighteousness.”
“This scripture says we must lead
by “principles of righteousness.” Such
principles apply to all leaders in the Church as well as to all fathers and
mothers in their homes. We lose our
right to the Lord’s spirit and to whatever authority we have from God when we
exercise control over another person in an unrighteous manner. We may think such methods are for the good of
the one being “controlled.” But anytime
we try to compel someone to righteousness who can and should be exercising his
or her own moral agency, we are acting unrighteously. When setting firm limits for another person
is in order, those limits should always be administered with loving patience
and in a way that teaches eternal principles.”
This not only applies to
priesthood holders but to all of us.
Kim referred to an article in the
July, 1989 Ensign by H. Burke Peterson called “Unrighteous Dominion” where
Brigham Young is quoted:
“If you are ever called to chasten a person, never chasten
beyond the balm you have within you to bind up. … When you have the chastening
rod in your hands, ask God to give you wisdom to use it, that you may not use
it to the destruction of an individual, but to his salvation.” (In Journal of
Discourses, 9:124–25.)
Kim asked for some examples of unrighteous dominion.
Merica mentioned that sometimes we might exercise undue
pressure over our children in certain situations without allowing them to
exercise their free agency. For example,
paying their tithing on their own, without nagging, once they have routinely
been shown how to do it.
Jane relayed an experience when she was young about wanting
to go to a movie on a Sunday. She had
been taught that in her family, about what activities were appropriate on the
Sabbath. Her mother left the decision up
to her and she went to the movies.
Within several minutes of the movie starting, Jane felt bad and knew
that she didn’t want to be there. She
left her friends immediately and walked home.
Rikki said that it isn’t always so “cut and dry”. It is hard to know when to say no to your
children or to let them make their own decision.
Nancy said that sometimes your children know what is right
but they need an excuse to say no to their friends. “I’d love to go, but my parents won’t let
me.”
It’s hard to let go and to have children find their own
path.
Each child is different and Mallory said that the Lord will
prompt you according to each child.
Heather said that there is a difference between forcing
your children and teaching them. Use “loving patience”. Help your children to learn from their
decisions and that there are consequences to all actions.
Elder Wilson mentioned in his talk, “In raising our family,
we decided that our most important goal would be to help our children establish
their own connection to heaven. We knew
that ultimately they would need to depend on the Lord, not on us. Brigham Young said, “Were I to draw a
distinction in all the duties that we are required of the children of men…I
would place first and foremost the duty of seeking unto the Lord our God until
we open the path of communication from heaven to earth—from God to our own
souls.”
“Wise parents prepare their children to get along without
them. They provide opportunities for
growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency
properly.”
In our families, with children or spouses, we have decide
what is acceptable behavior and what is bad behavior. “Don’t sweat the small stuff” while not
overlooking the unacceptable behavior.
In H. Burke Peterson’s Ensign article in the July, 1989
edition, he lists questions to spot signs of unrighteous dominion. Although this is directed mainly at
priesthood holders, it can be applied to all members of the church:
- Do I criticize family members
more than I compliment them?
- Do I insist that family
members obey me because I am the father or husband and hold the
priesthood?
- Do I seek happiness more at
work or somewhere other than in my home?
- Do my children seem reluctant
to talk to me about some of their feelings and concerns?
- Do I attempt to guarantee my
place of authority by physical discipline or punishment?
- Do I find myself setting and
enforcing numerous rules to control family members?
- Do family members appear to
be fearful of me?
- Do I feel threatened by the
notion of sharing with other family members the power and responsibility
for decision making in the family?
- Is my wife highly dependent
on me and unable to make decisions for herself?
- Does my wife complain that
she has insufficient funds to manage the household because I control all
the money?
- Do I insist on being the main
source of inspiration for each individual family member rather than
teaching each child to listen to the Spirit?
- Do I often feel angry and
critical toward family members?
Kim closed her lesson by reading the closing of Elder
Wilson’s conference talk:
“As we consider the principles that should guide us in the
Church and at home, let me close with an illustration from the biography of
President Thomas S. Monson. Ann Dibb,
the Monsons’ daughter, say that to this day, when she walks in the front door
of the house where she was raised, her father will say, “Oh, look who’s here. And aren’t we glad, and isn’t she beautiful?” She goes on to say: “My parents always give me some compliment;
it doesn’t matter what I look like or what I’ve been doing…When I go and visit
my parents, I know I am loved, I am complimented, I am made welcome, I am
home.”
“Brothers and sisters, this is the Lord’s way. Even if you’ve been mistreated in the past, I
know the Lord wants you to come unto Him.
All are loved. All are welcomed.”
